The One Question You Should Never Ask a New Mom

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Picture it. You’re a first-time mother out in public with your baby. You’re still in that stage where you’re paranoid you didn’t bring everything in the diaper bag and are wondering if your baby is going to behave or cry up a storm. Then, someone asks you, “Is he/she a good baby?”

This is one of those questions that drives me batty and stirs up an urge inside of me to slap someone.

What kind of question is that? It is said there are no stupid questions, but I assert this is a completely asinine one. Like a mom is going to say, “No, my 3 month old is the worst baby ever!” Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Oh, and If you’re wondering what a good baby is, the answer is that ALL BABIES ARE GOOD BABIES. A baby’s habits, likes or dislikes, or time of milestone achievement doesn’t equate them with being a good baby.

Your baby isn’t fond of strangers? Okay! Your baby is laid back and lets anyone hold them? Alright!

Your baby is breastfed? Yummy! You’ve opted to formula-feed? Tasty!

Your baby sleeps through the night? Great! More rest for you. Your baby doesn’t sleep through the night yet? Great! More squish cuddles for you.

Your baby has rolls? Cute! Your baby is slim? Adorable!

Your baby loves car rides in their car seat? Super! Your baby doesn’t like their car seat at all? No problem!

Your baby learned to walk at 9 months? Good for them! Your baby learned to walk at 16 months? Good for them!

I could list these things all day, but I’m sure you see where I’m going with this.

Every child is unique and learns at a different capacity. Don’t make a new mother feel inadequate and second guess her ability as a parent. Don’t allow her to question if she’s somehow failed at parenting because her baby doesn’t sleep through the night, or doesn’t like strangers holding them. That is their baby’s personality. That is who they are, and that special tiny human should be cherished for their individuality. The mother should be praised for giving life to a precious and remarkable little soul and for being strong and trekking through this crazy journey of motherhood with her head held high.

So, next time you want to break the ice with a new mom, try complimenting her strength as a mother or her child’s bright eyes. A little common courtesy and compassion go a long way in reassuring a first-time mom . 

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