There is a lot of advice floating around about what matters you should discuss before marriage, but many of them do not pertain to military relationships.
I’ve been getting a lot of emails from military girlfriends asking for my “professional” opinion as a therapist on whether they are ready to get married. I can’t give personal advice because I don’t know the specifics about their individual relationships, but I can offer some general advice that will ensure you have a solid foundation for a successful military marriage.
Recently, I took Jack to the park on post near our house to swing on the baby swings and enjoy a warm spring day. That’s where I overheard the most absurd statement I’d ever heard uttered from a military spouse.
Have you ever felt the weight of life’s responsibilities weighing you down? Military spouses are pulled in so many directions, and are often left to handle many things on our own. For many of us, this becomes burdensome as we end up caring for others’ needs at the expense of our own. Our desires and needs go by the wayside as we try to take care of our loved ones without nurturing ourselves. There’s actually a term for this called the superwoman syndrome. Many of us fall victim to it, which can become a slippery slope. The more we neglect our own needs, the more negative the impact, not only for ourselves, but for everyone we interact with. Our overall well being begins to decline; we are physically and mentally exhausted until we reach a breaking point where we have no choice but to slow down and take care of ourselves like we should have been all along. Continue reading